Miss You

I miss you

I really miss you
I thought I would tell you I missed you
I miss you
I fucking miss you
I totally miss the shit out of you

I can’t wait to be with you again
My obsession is unmanageable
But I’ll manage because I miss you
I miss you like some dry places
Miss some wet places

I miss you
Did I mention I miss you?
I wasn’t sure if I had told you yet
The levels of missing you that I have reached
Are, like, really high and junk
When I’m not with you, it’s like taking a dump
In a porta-potty with no paper
But when we’re together, it’s like doing that
On one of those $4000 Japanese models
With a remote control, seat warmer, speakers
A bidet and that jet of hot air that dries you off
But the point is

I miss you
I want to kiss you
I miss kissing you
And a couple of times that was literal
Like, we went to kiss each other and I think
I might have accidentally kissed your nose by mistake
But it was dark and I was drunk
And I meant to do that
It’s times like those that make me miss you
So I could practice hitting the mark
(Your lips, in case that wasn’t clear)

So when I see you tonight I will grab you
Like some kind of evil stalker
And throw you down on the wall
And just kiss the hell out of you
But if it seems like that’s kind of pissing you off
I might change to something gentler
Because I’m flexible, baby
I would do that for you
Because I miss you a whole bunch

I miss you
Oh sorry – I didn’t know you were on the phone
I’ll wait
I would wait forever for you
As long as it takes
Assuming it’s no more than, say, ten minutes
Sugar lips!

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