My Shadows, Blocking Your Sun

When I fooled myself
I couldn’t decide
If I was clever
For having deceived someone
So brilliant
Or if I was foolish
For having been deceived
By someone so ignorant

When I stole my own heart
I couldn’t decide
If I was in love
With the one person
Who loved me back
Or if I was dreaming
Because that one person
Would betray me

When I walked on water
I couldn’t decide
If I was magical
With supernatural abilities
Beyond measure
Or if I was simply
Walking on a frozen pond
Which anyone can do

When I accepted myself
I couldn’t decide
If I had really relished
The flaws and imperfections
Along with the goodness
Or if I was complacent
Apathetically unwilling
To challenge perceptions

When I hurt myself
I couldn’t decide
If I was trying to feel something
To experience sensations
Of an emotional nature
Or if I was trying to prevent myself
From feeling anything
Through desensitizing numbness

When I met you
I couldn’t decide
If you would grow tired of me
Whether my shadows, blocking your sun
Would drive you away
Or if you would see past the surface
Look deep within my soul
Stay with me and know me

When you said my name
Those decisions didn’t matter
You sat with me in my darkness
You smiled at me through my melancholy
You held me through my revulsion
You healed me through my affliction
You centered me through my imbalance
I slept contentedly in your comfort

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