I Love Uranus

Note: This is about the planet Uranus. Many people get confused and laugh at this planet – but we don’t understand why.

This post is for everything about Uranus, the rings around Uranus, how Uranus is tilted sideways, and why the windiest planet is closest to Uranus. What comes from Uranus? How did it get in Uranus? How do we probe Uranus, and what do we do with whatever we find deep inside Uranus? What is the best position and approach for entering Uranus? We’ll explore that later. No one talks about Neptune – I mean, it’s right there behind Uranus. Just because Uranus is gassy, it has to be the butt of many jokes? I mean, no one makes jokes about a big hard Venus. Or about asteroids.

Uranus is a huge gas giant with rings. Uranus is very very cold. Uranus is beautiful, even though it’s tilted to the side. Lots of astronomers have studied Uranus. Why, Carl Sagan has looked at Uranus lots of times! When viewing Uranus, it is considered a good thing if you don’t see the Crab Nebula. Everything is getting closer to Uranus. It’s like Uranus is sucking everything in. You have to use black hole-y water. Uranus can’t hold that much water – it just ends up as rings around Uranus. Is there toxic waste around Uranus? Sometimes when Uranus is dirty you have to clean it with comet.

If you cut a hole in the ice on Uranus, you’ll see a big ice hole. There’s a crack in the moons of Uranus. If someone has lit Uranus on fire, link to the video because we’d all like to see Uranus on fire. Uranology is a subset of Astrology, but it’s the most important and biggest part. There’s already a lot of stuff in Uranus, too much for anyone to accurately measure. If aliens landed on Uranus, they would stay there forever, probing Uranus over and over, never tiring of it.

If you look behind Uranus you’ll see a huge Oort cloud. I’m not sure how that would smell. Perhaps NASA’s new probe with some sort of ‘gliding lubricant of astronomy’ will help ease it into the atmosphere of Uranus. If you’ve seen one Uranus, you’ve seen them all. Uranus is much bigger than Earth. Also, Uranus is tilted and lays on its side. Hopefully we can expose Uranus, and truly get to the bottom of it. Uranus is the biggest in the galaxy. There’s a song (to the tune of ‘Oklahoma’):

Uranus with the axis tilted on its side
and the rings so round
it’s so profound
when you explore the darkness deep inside!
Uranus every night my telescope and I
Sit around and talk with Mr. Spock
‘Bout the Klingons circling the night sky
But the warriors never attack
Cause the hole they’re surrounding is black
So when we say
Uranus isn’t gay
We’re only saying
Ur doing fine
Oh Uranus
Oh Uranus

Uranians have graciously agreed to be the butt of all our jokes, providing Terrans with endless guffaws that never ever get old no matter how much we repeat it in no matter how many variations. Uranus is deep enough to take whatever we can give it.Of course it’s bottomless – it’s on its side. But in all fairness, it’s a sideless pit. Uranus is visible to the naked eye, and is full of lots of methane. And thanks to Hubble, more rings have been discovered around Uranus than ever before. There’s not only lots of rings around Uranus, but there’s a black hole inside Uranus. Uranus has never been in the closet, but Uranus is definitely cold, dark and gassy.

That’s a lot of things about Uranus


7 thoughts on “I Love Uranus”

  1. Very informative! Although you forgot to mention just how poisonous Uranus is – lots of arsenic.

    People may not know, but Scientists are particularly concerned about asteroids obstructing Uranus, and so have a top secret project codenamed: “Preparation H”

    Liked by 1 person

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