I can’t hide from myself. Every part of me touches every part of everything else

When everyone I know and every part of me is telling me in no uncertain terms to get out, and I don’t listen, there is an earthquake inside me where the lightning used to be. Misery loves company, but company can’t make it today, mo ghrá. She’ll not be visiting this evening.

Hair of fiery red, at times different shades depending on her whims, brought me great joy. Mucking the stalls in the morning, playing fiddle in the evening, dancing jigs at night. Tis like being married to many different women at once, I caught myself saying. She would say I was like the boy who couldn’t wait to open his present on Christmas. I said she were no present, nor a thing; nevertheless, I anticipated the time she gave to me every day. It was hard for her and for me, both, happening as it did at this moment. Now visiting me astrally, now saying she could not; now admitting she loved me, now saying it was not yet meant to be. Now saying ma cushla, now saying oíche mhaith.

What shocked us both was a picture of me standing in front of a large print ad poster hanging outside a shop in a local pedestrian mall. I liked the look of it, and of the woman. I stood in front of it, imitating her pose looking slightly down and to the left, standing in shadow as the poster behind me was backlit, and the picture was taken. More than a year later, she saw the picture and recognized the poster from a shoot she did. It was her. I had been standing in front of her the whole time. It’s amazing how different lighting and makeup and clothes and photography can make the same person look different. But it did look like the personal pictures she sent me and no one else. We were gobsmacked.

She made me believe in magic. She made me realize I had been following the tenets of a goddess the whole time. When I played Cupid. When I paired resources with people, questions with answers, or friends with each other. When I took note of and examined the interconnectedness of all things, and the ripples one’s stone caused in another’s ocean. Upon realizing these things had always been part of me, it all came to pass, and I accepted the Weaver’s charge. A champion of Danu. A curadh na Danann.

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