I’m delighted to announce a new thing to this blog:
Annual Flu Shots!
That’s right. Everyone line up to receive their flu shots – totally free right here on this blog! Here’s how it works – you get a free flu shot right here on this blog, and it’s absolutely free! Who wouldn’t like free flu shots? No one, that’s who. Just listen to these testimonials:
I felt like it was nearly time to start beginning the portion of the year when some sort of virus or bacteria or something would make a move on my sister. I got Clever’s free flu shot, and as a result, I didn’t get the flu once! I got gonorrhea, but not from the shot! Thanks, Ward!
– Bob Rastriesand
There I was, about to pop the question, when some nasty pop star sneezed on me! I vomited profusely all over Hollywood, but then I heard about Ward Clever’s free flu shots. I got two of them, one in each butt cheek, and I never even got a sniffle! Plus, I got married later that month, and divorced the next month, but married the following month, and it’s been going strong for 6 whole days! Clever’s flu shots are a godsend!
– Linda Bejohnson
I didn’t get sick. I don’t get sick because I’m a robot. But I still got Ward Clever’s flu shot, because I didn’t want the bioskin exterior to proflumagate the scheduunacokles into the hamaflagelator which might xerrxxssddg the 0-5817 into a f;alhga; meltdown. Hail to the creator! Ward Clever is a human who possesses an item of some value in my estimation.
– Shat Robotwang Vaginaut PX567
See, motherfuckers? I told you. This free flu shot is not only free, but it’s a shot that protects against the influenza virus, the flu bug, spring fever, the vapors and March Angriness! It has even been known to protect against computer viruses if sprayed directly on your hard drive.
So act now! You only have 7 hours to learn your lines! You have the lead! Places, people! We haven’t even worked out the blocking yet!
All this thing that I talked about up there can be yours for free! All you need to do is pay the delivery charge, the syringe charge, the medicine charge, and of course, Nurse Feratu.
Offer not good in Kansas, Bulgaria, Greenland, Point Nemo, space or Donald Trump’s hair.
Operators are standing around, just getting drunk and bitching about their working conditions and hours – so call now! NOW! CALL RIGHT NOW! NOW! DO IT N- Oh, wait – you need the number.
Call 1-985-655-2500 TODAY! RIGHT NOW! DON’T WAIT! HURRY! EVERYONE’S DOING IT! DON’T BE THE ONLY LOSER WHO DOESN’T DO THIS!