Ward Clever

Demons, Unicorns, and Cupid's Assassins


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“So I am not a broken heart.
I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and if I were to be this empty I wanted something solid to sleep on. Like concrete.
I am not this year and I am not your fault.
I am muscles building cells, a little every day, because they broke that day,
but bones are stronger once they heal and I am smiling to the bus driver and replacing my groceries once a week and I am not sitting for hours in the shower anymore.
I am the way a life unfolds and bloom and seasons come and go and I am the way the spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life.
I am not your fault.”
Charlotte Eriksson

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I don’t ever want to know all there is to know about you. I want you to be infinite, so there is always more to discover.

After exploring the parts of you that are unknown, I will always come back to the part of you that feels like home.

I will keep your stars within myself, so you can always see the sun. I will keep your past in my future, so my perspective never falters, your faith in me never fades. I will taste your pain, searing in your flames, and create from them that fire that burns without stopping but doesn’t hurt somehow.

I will drink from you deeply, though you are the ocean that can never be entirely consumed. I will eat of your bounty, though you are the cornucopia that can never be exhausted.

Every story has an end, but you and I will write more stories and more still, so the story of us is always new. The next story and the next will start and continue as our old stories end. The people we were in the past will become our legacy.

I will sit at your feet and learn from your wisdom. I will sit across from you and bask in your inner beauty. I will smile at you as long as it takes until you are happy, and can smile back. I will be patient.

I will understand who you are, what you are, appreciating every facet, valuing every aspect, treasuring every interaction. You will move as you will, where you will, and I will be here when you return.

I cannot, will not dream of you, when the reality of you is all I want. Every part of you is real, every part known or unknown is equally present, vivid and alive, your essence incarnate.

I will happily learn of you what you share with me. I will eagerly accept what you are willing to give to me. I will expect nothing, enjoin nothing, demand only that you are yourself, so I can know you.

I want you to be infinite. You are real, every single part, even parts I do not know, even parts unknown to yourself. I can see your beauty, your triumph, your healing, your strength. I will never know all of you, and I will never want to. Your mysteries are as much a part of you as your revelations. I love all of you. Just that. The real you.

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